


Dear Sora,

by mutsukisan



Category: TsukiPro the Animation
Genre: Gen, Letters, first person POV, gyaru sora did not deserve this, i was just happy about nozomu's mask and tattoo i did not ask for pain, sometimes i just really feel angsty, tsukihana, why is tsukihana painful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21584476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutsukisan/pseuds/mutsukisan
Summary: After Sora's death, Mori starts writing letters to cope with it.
Relationships: Arihara Morihito & Oohara Sora, slight Kagurazaka Soushi/Arihara Morihito
Kudos: 20





	Dear Sora,

**Author's Note:**

> because tsukihana made me go from "hhmmm mori sexy" to "oh"

**_#1_ **

_Sora, today I write a letter dedicated to you._

_Ever since you… left, I have been having a difficult time to accept it. It may be so bad that everyone is worried about me. Sou has been touching me like I’m always sick. Ren talks to me about a lot of things. Nozomu has been making sure that I wasn’t alone all the time._

_Pathetic, isn’t it? I know I’m not the only one suffering about your loss, yet it’s like I’m getting a special treatment about it. I’m really sorry about it, but I just can’t feel happiness just yet. It’s like theres' a void in my heart that just can’t be filled. The desire to see you again keeps getting stronger each day that passes and its unbearable. Sou was seriously worried that he dragged me to one of our teachers for help._

_That resulted to me writing this letter. My teacher said that writing may help me release the feelings I’ve been bottling up._

_Is it working? I don’t know. However, I do feel a little better now that I feel like I can address you like this. I know you can’t ever read this, but it makes me feel like I’m talking to you again. I might actually continue to do this._

_Nozomu is coming this way, I’ll end today’s letter to this. I miss you. I really do._

* * *

**_#2_ **

_Everyday when I go to school, I am often reminded of you. But then again, everything reminds me of you right now._

_Do you still remember your wish before you left? You wanted to go to school with us, right? I still laugh whenever I remember you pouting when you saw the love letters dedicated to me and Sou. It’s not really our fault that we receive those, I have no idea what they see to someone like me too. I can understand liking Sou since he is attractive, but me? Nozomu literally told me when we first met that I look like I would end his social life if he angered me._

_Aside from that, I really remember you the most in music class. The one thing we both share is our passion for music, and I still remember clearly when I heard you play for the first time. It wasn’t like the tradition but yet it speaks of you. It sounded so… fun. It’s so you. I loved it a lot. I could listen to your songs everyday. I felt like I could do anything as long as I could hear it._

_Ah._

_I’m a fool. The purpose of this letter was to make me feel better, but now I just feel too miserable. I miss you a lot. I wish I could hear your songs again. I wish I could see you again. I wish I could touch you. I wish that I could play songs with you again. I want to talk to you again._

_Everyday is a painful reminder that you’re not here with us. I just want to see you so so bad. I want to see you but I can’t bear to look at anything that reminds me of you._

_Sora, why did you have to leave?_

* * *

**_#13_ **

_Today, Sou got mad at me._

_For context, people from other villages visited today, they were boys and girls. Some are even clan heads at such an early age. We went to greet them for hospitality and I can’t help but notice that one of the girls is your type. I imagined you getting flustered around her. I mentioned all those things to Sou and at some point he hissed at me and left._

_I wonder if I was talking about you too much. I can’t help it. You suffered too much and just when you found the chance to live your life to the fullest, it all ended. Everyday I think about what you would do it you’re still here. Maybe I’m getting all too sensitive and acting like I’m the only one suffering. If that was the case, I should apologize, right?_

_Ah, you were someone who was sensitive to Sou’s feelings. If only you were here, I could ask for advice._

_… I’m getting all gungho about you again… aren’t I? Nonetheless, I’m going to apologize to Sou. I don’t want this conflict to grow and lose him too._

* * *

**_#31_ **

_Is it selfish to say I have been making progress?_

_I think things have been less painful lately. I feel like I can slowly smile again. I still want to see you, of course, but it hurts less now. I have to thank everyone around me for sticking with me and helping me. I was pathetic but they were patient with me nonetheless._

_I haven’t mentioned it before but ever since you were gone, I looked at the sky a lot. It’s a silly comparison just because your name means sky but it was a way to calm me down a little. Or maybe it was a way to escape reality? I don’t understand my own feelings._

_Also, it’s not just me. Everyone has been progressing too. Sou has been smiling a lot lately. Before, he always seemed so worried or angry. Ren has been able to concentrate in his training more too. As for Nozomu, he was the one who took your disappearance better than me and Sou. Lately, he’s been radiating more. It’s admirable because if it wasn’t for him, who knows what would happen to the rest of us._

_If your soul was with us somehow, I want you to see us. I have no idea where you are now, but I wish you well._

_Again, I miss you._

* * *

**_#70_ **

_Today had a lot of shocking events._

_First, Ren’s martial arts skills has improved so much that the two clan heads from the Mutsuki and Hanazono clans personally came and complimented him. And these two are known to be part of the five strongest martial artists in this nation. Ren has been grinning non-stop and blushing because of it. It’s so cute._

_Second, Nozomu’s brother finally came home after months on a mission. Nozomu was so happy he was practically jumping. We had to scold him for dancing around with his gun because it was dangerous. His happiness was radiating so much that we could literally feel his smile behind the terrifying mask he wears often._

_Third, Sou has been more open lately. It’s nice because he always puts up an air to be reliable that he doesn’t even realize himself how much its going to break him. Then again, who am I to speak? We could speak about you more without things ending with tension. We really are all slowly healing._

_Fourth, Sou confessed to me._

_I genuinely have no idea how to answer him. My thoughts still end up to you and I’d feel guilty about accepting his confession in that situation. Do I like him? Honestly, I’ve had an attraction for him before we even met you, but ever since you came, it’s like my goal was to make you happy instead. I never really thought of it ever since._

_And I don’t want to answer his confession with a halfhearted conclusion like that. He said that I don’t have to get so worked up over it and he just wants to speak what he wanted to tell me for a long time but I can’t help but get worked up over it. I don’t want to mentally cheat on him._

_I’ve got long ways to go. Don’t I?_

* * *

**_#78_ **

_I have a meeting later so this will be short._

_First of all, I’ve decided to accept Sou’s confession._

_I really am in love with him. And I finally realized that it’s not to cope about the fact that you’re not here and I’m glad because that would hurt him more than me rejecting him. I’m nervous because it has been weeks ever since we talked about his confession, I wonder if he still feels the same?_

_What I’ve been writing to you are more of love talks. I’m sure you would scoff at me and rant for being stupidly lovesick while trying to help me. Sorry, but I can’t open up about this to Ren and Nozomu._

_If only you were here, I wonder what you will really tell me?_

* * *

**_#146_ **

_It hurts. It hurts so much._

_I’m so sorry I’m so pathetic Sora. You wouldn’t want me talking to you like this right? I just feel like a sore loser. Writing like this won’t bring you back no matter what I write. Why can’t I just accept that?_

_Every instrument I hold reminds me of you so much it’s practically stabbing me. The songs you created can’t be played by noone but you. It’s a painful reminder that I can’t hear it ever again. It’s a painful reminder that I can’t see you again._

_These songs that I treasure so much are only in my memory and that scares me so much. What if I forgot? It’s like I’m forgetting an important part of you. I’m scared._

_I want to see you. I want to play songs with you. I want to listen to your songs again. I want to see you so so so bad. I feel so miserable that I can’t bear to show up to anyone, not even to Sou, not even to Ren and Nozomu. The distance between us hurts me a lot._

_Sora, please, take me. Where are you? Take me where you have gone too._

_I want to see you._

_I need to see you._

_Where do I have to go to see you again?_

_What do I have to do?_

_Please, answer me._

* * *

_Dear Sora,_

_It has been a long time since you were gone. No. I’ll be blunt. It has been long since you died. I took it bad, really bad that I couldn’t even function properly. It went to a point were I refused to distinguish reality and my wish anymore. I ended up doing things that hurted me more than necessary._

_However, I pulled through. I’m thankful for all the help everyone has done for me. Even the painful words that I wrote here is something I’m grateful for._

_And this will be my last letter to you._

_To be honest, I haven’t thought of writing another one until I was cleaning my room and found these letters dedicated to you. So I decided to write for the last time._

_A lot happened. I’m already old. On the brink of death if I must say. I really did live a long time without you here._

_I’m glad to tell you that I wasn’t fully miserable throughout my life. After your death, I still experienced happiness that was on par with the happiness I felt when you were still alive. Sou and I had a really healthy and loving relationship. We managed to resolve all the conflicting feelings in our relationship and pulled through._

_The memories of you that kept hurting me for a long time turned into something I cherished and felt happiness. Everything weren’t a painful reminder of you anymore, it became a great reminder that I met someone as amazing as you._

_It took a really long time for me to heal, but the result is great. I was happy._

_But now, I am alone._

_It can’t be helped, I am at that age after all. Death is something expected to come. It’s just sad that out of all of us, I really had to be the one who lived the longest. Ren and Nozomu both died from a mission. Sou received an injury while coaching others and never recovered, which led to his death too._

_I don’t want to make them all sad if I lived the same way I did when you died, so I have been living for them, you included._

_Though, living alone is too lonely. I never knew being alone was like this. Is this what you felt when you sacrfiiced yourself? I’m sorry. You must have been really scared and lonely._

_I miss all of you, but I’m coming soon, so please wait for me._

_On that note, I still have unresolved feelings about you Sora. I couldn’t fulfill all the promises between us, I still don’t feel like you’ve lived to the fullest like you wanted. Though this might be just my selfishness speaking, but I want to fulfill those promises with you one day._

_I don’t know if reincarnation is real, it seems too convenient. But if it does exist, then please, let the two—no, let the five of us meet again. I don’t want to feel this loneliness in the next life. I promise I’ll make you happy Sora. I’ll save you this time. Whatever happens, I will never let you fall into misery._

_Who knows, maybe if you, me, Sou, Ren, and Nozomu are together, we might achieve a dream or a new goal that we will form together in the next life._

_Maybe we could play together, the five of us._

_If we ever meet again, then that would be the greatest thing I could ask for._

_And so, for now, this will be goodbye. Hopefully, we can see each other again._

_I loved and respected you Sora._

_Thank you for everything._

_-Arihara Morihito_


End file.
